Jon E. Garrett
Writing the future of journalism one post at a time


August 28, 2012

Amazon from society that looks down on men, finally gets hers

Profiles courtesy of
Internet dating is no longer just for the creepy guy at the office and cat ladies.

Hey ladies? Ever feel like there is only one guy on the planet for you; who can truly understand you, love you like you need to be loved and withstand the massive pressure generated by your Amazonian thighs as they clinch around his body during lovemaking – without having to make a trip to the emergency room after for  X-rays, a body cast and relationship’s-long supply of Vicodin?

Of course you have. It’s only natural. The problem a lot of women seem to encounter once they leave Paradise Island, however, is once they find their potential Prince Charming he is all too often taken – by some human skank.

Yep, if he is not lazy, jobless, too short for you to go out in public with you when you put on your heels or suffering from Kryptonite poisoning, there’s a good chance some monkey’s great great-granddaughter is tugging at more than his cape.

So you work together in close quarters, lean on each other’s shoulders in times of need and even when you snap a megalomaniac’s neck to save his life, and the entire planet, all you get in return is a lecture on morals.

That’s the way Diana of Themyscira, aka Diana Prince, aka Wonder Woman, must have felt until the editors at DC Comics finally decided that after more than 70 years of fighting, losing and loving in the funny papers that she should get a shot at the only man super enough to improve the life of  Amazon warrior royalty.

That’s right. Big Blue, the Kansas Express, Clark Kent aka Superman has finally noticed the girl who sits next to him in the Justice League office is smart, hot and totally not always trying to one-up him at work with scoops of stories he basically gives to her like that Louis chick at his day job.

DC has mandated that the duo will finally be a couple and this time it is for real – no dirty dreams or stolen kisses and plot turning pregnancies in alternate realties. The cover of Justice League issue 12, out on Wednesday, finds the two entwined in a flying kiss and kicks off whole new era of superhero romance for both characters.

What does this mean for Louis Lane? Is this independent woman really ready to be tied down, magic lasso or not? Will Clark Kent take a lead from Jay Z and put a ring on it?

All these questions and more are sure to be answered as the New 52 continuity of DC Comics unfolds. So, if you’re interested grab a copy at the comic book store or on your electronic reader tomorrow. As for me, I’m going to go re-read the old comic where Louis Lane turns black and wants to know if Superman will marry her.

This happened.




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Jon E. Garrett



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